A bad habit of a loved one is always a frustrating thing. One of the most ‘popular’ bad habits is smoking, says American Lung Association, with more than 15 percent of women in the U.S. smoking in 2013. Beside the effect on your girlfriend’s health, I could imagine, bad breath is not what you’re into. If you have this problem with your girlfriend, you probably have tried some methods to get her to quit this unwanted habit. Given that you are reading this article, there is a fair chance that your efforts have failed and you need some help in getting this done. Am I Right?
Well, you’ve come to the right place because I’ll provide you my guide that will help you and your girlfriend to win over this unhealthy habit. Here we go!
Where to start
First and foremost, you should acknowledge that you and girlfriend should do it together. There is a little chance for victory if you leave her to do this job alone, so even if she succeeds in ceasing smoking for a few days, the chances of relapse are great. That’s why it is critical to start in the right way and build the foundation for moving further.
As it was mentioned above, you have probably used some methods before you came across this article. Among the most popular ones are saying “I do not want you to smoke” and nagging. Men tend to solve issues with much less communication than women and dominate the problem-solving process but this approach should not be used in this case.
If you try to keep the focus on you rather than your girlfriend, a negative outcome is guaranteed. For example, if you keep saying her smoking affects you, she might perceive it as a selfish and self-centered action. We don’t want that. What you should do is connect the problem to you both.
For example, you can say that you do not like the way the house smells after she smoked inside (this can be bad for your cat that you picked up together and anyone who comes visit). And, more importantly, it affects your health as well. Or you might say that you find it difficult to kiss her after she had a cigarette. Remember to keep it personal and connected to you both! If you make these statements in an accusing way, a conflict is guaranteed, so stay away from accusations.
The next important thing to remember at the start is a positive approach that excludes anger (because positive thinking is more powerful). In order for her to quit, she must have a reliable and helping partner rather than angry one. Only a helping partner can show that something else can be more important than smoking and assist on the journey to achieve the objective. The most obvious things that are more important than smoking include better health, freedom from addiction, better relationship with a spouse, and white teeth.
How to continue
Given that you know how to make a proper start, we can proceed to the next part of the strategy. The following plan will be divided into three steps that you should take to ensure that your anti-smoking effort is on the right track.
Step 1: do the research for her
According to a recent poll, 85 percent of smokers in the U.S. said they tried to quit at least once in their lifetime and almost half of them tried at least three times. That’s a lot of effort. However, given that they still smoke, the strategies they used might have been ineffective.
To ensure that your effort will be rewarded, you need to perform a lot of research. Find a natural, holistic method (massage, meditations etc.), which does not involve medications and nicotine to avoid being shot down from the start. When you are sure in our selection, offer her to read about the method but don’t push it on her. The last thing she needs is you preaching her.
Step 2: inspire her to be more active
The fact that your girlfriend agreed to take meditation lessons does not mean that you won. In fact, it means that you need to intensify your effort! This can be done by offering her to engage in some exercises or activities that would distract her from the thoughts about having a cigarette. Plus, you will be with her the whole time!
For example, you can offer to go see a movie, visit a local mall for some shopping (this should be pretty good), and even have a run on the track. Regardless of the option you choose, make sure that your girlfriend is engaged in the activity and likes it (that’s why shopping might be a good idea).
Step 3: lifestyle change
This is the stage when you and your girlfriend begin to change her lifestyle. Let’s assume she successfully completed meditation lessons and agreed to engage in activities you proposed. It’s time to make these new habits her routine! Remember to remind her that these new activities are much better for her than smoking and do that when she is happy doing them.
It is possible that she will be hesitating about changing the lifestyle, so you need to be there for her at all times. Make a commitment in front of her, so she feels that you are in this with her and your support will be a huge factor.
Over to you!
Persuading your girlfriend to stop smoking is difficult. However, when you use the right strategy, you will have better chances to succeed. The key takeaways from this article for you are the following:
- Start in the right way by connecting the problem to outcome of your relationship
- Find a natural way to quit smoking that will not scare her
- Do not preach her
- Support her all the way
Clearly, a proper addressing of the smoking problem is critically important and should trigger more effort from your side. In the end, your girlfriend will abandon this unhealthy habit and you will achieve a full recovery and a better quality of life!
Have you been faced with a similar problem? We are craving for your own stories and feedback!